Lose Your Job Now: 5 Tips to Get to Severance Heaven
You've schemed, you've scammed, you've plotted, but the elusive layoff has evaded you for the last time. Your desire to go to that spacious severance-package-in-the-sky needs to be fulfilled without further ado. How will you get upper management to see how pointless your position really is? Follow these five tips and soon you'll be packing your pictures.
1. Work in customer service.
Between voice-response systems, outsourcing to other countries, and form emails, who needs to talk to a person? See Exhibit A:
"Dear Sir or Madam,
Thank you for your feedback. At this time we are unable to . We highly value you as a customer and apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. We hope you will consider NeverDoingBusinessWithYouAgain, Inc. in the future.
Sincerely,
Generic Jenny"
With quality responses such as these, who needs to talk to a customer service agent?
2. Apply for middle management.
In the pyramid-scheme of employment, middle management is the most superfluous. You're the guy whose job it is to make sure that other employees are doing their jobs. If you work for a micro-manager, your boss isn't only making sure that you're doing your job; he's also making sure that your employees are doing their jobs. If your industry is in a slump, has put a freeze on hiring, and employee numbers are eroding due to attrition, why have 10 people managing 250 employees when previously they were managing 300? Is $60,000/year, benefits, paid vacation, and personal time really worth an increase of 0.002% in productivity? If you can do the math, so can upper management. Submit that e-application immediately.
3. Work in the telecommunications industry.
Between cell phones, cable internet, VoIP, and mergers, the telecommunications industry is all but dead. Countless individuals been talked into keeping a landline by their telephone company "just in case" their cell phone goes dead. These consumers will soon realize that their cell phones almost never go dead, and, if they do, they can always port to a different company with better coverage areas. With "naked DSL" (DSL service that does not require a landline) becoming available in more and more areas, landlines will soon be a distant memory. And the phone number the customers have had a cozy, intimate relationship with for the past 25 years? These landline numbers can be ported to cell phones, too! The heat of the home phone has fizzled.
4. Work somewhere for a long time. Remind people of this. Constantly.
Sure, there's a learning curve for every job, but somewhere between years one and two you'll hit that proficiency peak. After this point, you need something else, like incalculable business relationships or unique knowledge, to keep you afloat. If you don't have these, don't seek them. If you do, downplay these assets. Upper management will begin to wonder whether your 10 years of experience is really worth all the extra pay.
5. Work somewhere with a disproportionately high sign-on bonus.
If you're Larry Page or Sergey Brin, the founders of Google, or an actuary with dueling master's degrees in Actuarial Science and Mathematics, you deserve a hefty sign-on bonus. If you're flipping burgers at McDonald's or telemarketing at Geico, you don't. When a company with a "high school diploma preferred, but not required" policy is offering a sign-on bonus, its because they're desperate for help during an uncharacteristically busy season. These companies are hoping that attrition will conveniently dispose of these extra employees when customer volumes return to normal. If this doesn't happen, you're looking at your coveted cash cow of unemployment when they drop the axe.
The Holidays and Education
The Holidays and Education
Tis the Season for Giving. An interesting concept that parents forget about is the importance of remembering their child’s education during this time. Every time is a learning time and parents should take the opportunity to educate their child both in mind and spirit during this time. Yeats once wrote, “Education is not the filling of the pail, but the lighting of the fire”. Parents need to take every opportunity this season to share their love for learning.
One important way to teach children to love learning is to read in the house. It is important for children to see their parents reading books and reading to them. Parents should find books that are interesting to the child so when they are reading to themselves, the child can follow along or listen aloud. When learning how to read or working on perfecting your child’s reading skills, it is important to have books that are fun, interesting, and educational. At Links for Learning, we have specially developed grade level books with your child’s reading style and level in mind. The books reflect the social level and the emotional level of our students. The books are based according to your child’s grade level (K-8th grade) and have been written according to their reading grade level. Links for Learning understand how hard it is to find books made specifically for your child’s reading needs. The books were written in hopes of establishing affordable books for every child.
Instead of giving toys that will break or something that will be forgotten in a month, give the gift of reading to your child. This is a gift that will last a lifetime and will not be lost in the daily shuffle of life. Teaching a child to better themselves as readers is so important and will build self-confidence for the rest of their life. Remember this is the season for giving and giving your child a lifetime of support is the most important present ever.
Tis the Season for Giving. An interesting concept that parents forget about is the importance of remembering their child’s education during this time. Every time is a learning time and parents should take the opportunity to educate their child both in mind and spirit during this time. Yeats once wrote, “Education is not the filling of the pail, but the lighting of the fire”. Parents need to take every opportunity this season to share their love for learning.
One important way to teach children to love learning is to read in the house. It is important for children to see their parents reading books and reading to them. Parents should find books that are interesting to the child so when they are reading to themselves, the child can follow along or listen aloud. When learning how to read or working on perfecting your child’s reading skills, it is important to have books that are fun, interesting, and educational. At Links for Learning, we have specially developed grade level books with your child’s reading style and level in mind. The books reflect the social level and the emotional level of our students. The books are based according to your child’s grade level (K-8th grade) and have been written according to their reading grade level. Links for Learning understand how hard it is to find books made specifically for your child’s reading needs. The books were written in hopes of establishing affordable books for every child.
Instead of giving toys that will break or something that will be forgotten in a month, give the gift of reading to your child. This is a gift that will last a lifetime and will not be lost in the daily shuffle of life. Teaching a child to better themselves as readers is so important and will build self-confidence for the rest of their life. Remember this is the season for giving and giving your child a lifetime of support is the most important present ever.
Meta Patterns & Genius - A Simple Game To Increase A Child's Intelligence
Meta Patterns & Genius - A Simple Game To Increase A Child's Intelligence
As a side effect in my life long study of human excellence, genius and creativity, I have discovered ONE particular thinking pattern that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in:
- understanding the world - problem solving - innovation and creativity - and even inner harmony.
This is a meta filter which people LEARN, they are NOT born "that way", and it is a really profound one that makes the difference between a great thinker and someone who isn't, at the end of the day.
This filter is about whether a person sorts all manner of incoming information by difference, or by similarity.
Fascinatingly, across the board, children's games are games of "difference".
Spot the difference; Sesame Street's "One of these things just doesn't belong here ..."; and many, MANY other strategies across the board and all the educational modalities reward this "sorting by differences".
The side effect of sorting by difference is to compartmentalise the world into ever smaller blocks of detail; this leads directly, and I mean directly, in completely logical cause and effect fashion to losing the ability to "see the big picture".
In neuro-linguistic terms, the movement from a normal sized picture into more and more detail is called "chunking down".
This is when we stop looking at the car, and instead focus on a single wheel, and then the hub of a single wheel, and the the screw with the hub, and then a single turn of the screw, and deeper and deeper into the details of the thing, until we're in quarks and neutrons territory and no-one knows or cares that we ever started with a bright red motor car.
Now, there is nothing wrong per se with "chunking down" into details of a thing; where it becomes immensely DANGEROUS for a person, and for many people in their collective societies, is when EVERYBODY thinks like that - apart from a few "visionaries" that is, of course, who will become the leaders.
Aha!
A general MUST be able to see the bigger picture; a king must; an industry leader; ANY leader MUST have the magical ability to zoom out and perceive huge arrays of objects IN PERSPECTIVE in order to discover the meta patterns that make up the WHOLE situation.
In the education systems the world over, children are not raised and trained to become LEADERS. That explains why the "downchunk movement" into detail is being taught and fostered at every turn; people who are only comfortable with "small chunk thinking" and will turn immediately to chunking down EVEN FURTHER in moments of crisis, because that movement is THE ONLY movement they know and are familiar with, make great soldiers, factory workers, low level clerics - great ants, in other words.
But the fact is that to "think in the opposite direction", to zoom out to see the bigger picture, is a simple as a child's game - we just need to reverse it.
Instead of playing endless versions of, "What's the difference?" we start asking instead, "What's the SAME?"
It is then the meta patterns become revealed and the MOVEMENT OUT towards the "bigger picture" begins to occur naturally.
This is such a simple, and yet such an INCREDIBLE thing.
Consider this.
We may ask, "What's THE SAME about a black boy, and a white boy?" and the answer is ready and clear - "They're both boys!"
We may ask, "What's the SAME about a little boy and a little girl?" and we may receive the answer, "They're both human beings."
EVERY person needs to be able to ZOOM BOTH WAYS - into the details, and out to biggest possible picture, and back again.
EVERY person CAN do that - it is just a question of encouraging the neglected and secret "bigger picture" movement from an early age, and THAT in itself is as simple as to say to a child, "What's THE SAME about your teddy and your doll?"
For any adult who seeks to really re-connect to their own creativity and POWER TO DETECT THE META PATTERNS of our lives and our environments, it is the same game.
"What's THE SAME about the last five movies you've watched? What's THE SAME about the last 15 successful advertising campaigns the competitors ran? What's THE SAME about me and other people?"
There is a structural re-connection that is astonishing which occurs so naturally as a by product of asking that simple question, which is indeed profound, and profoundly healing.
I do believe that the answers lie in the meta patterns, and in our ability to PERCEIVE THEM CLEARLY.
If we get, as individuals AND as societies, those meta patterns right, then the details will NATURALLY take care of themselves - that's the way it works.
"They" say that the devil lies in the detail - it could well be so that salvation can be found indeed, in all of us starting to pay much more attention to "the bigger picture".
As a side effect in my life long study of human excellence, genius and creativity, I have discovered ONE particular thinking pattern that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in:
- understanding the world - problem solving - innovation and creativity - and even inner harmony.
This is a meta filter which people LEARN, they are NOT born "that way", and it is a really profound one that makes the difference between a great thinker and someone who isn't, at the end of the day.
This filter is about whether a person sorts all manner of incoming information by difference, or by similarity.
Fascinatingly, across the board, children's games are games of "difference".
Spot the difference; Sesame Street's "One of these things just doesn't belong here ..."; and many, MANY other strategies across the board and all the educational modalities reward this "sorting by differences".
The side effect of sorting by difference is to compartmentalise the world into ever smaller blocks of detail; this leads directly, and I mean directly, in completely logical cause and effect fashion to losing the ability to "see the big picture".
In neuro-linguistic terms, the movement from a normal sized picture into more and more detail is called "chunking down".
This is when we stop looking at the car, and instead focus on a single wheel, and then the hub of a single wheel, and the the screw with the hub, and then a single turn of the screw, and deeper and deeper into the details of the thing, until we're in quarks and neutrons territory and no-one knows or cares that we ever started with a bright red motor car.
Now, there is nothing wrong per se with "chunking down" into details of a thing; where it becomes immensely DANGEROUS for a person, and for many people in their collective societies, is when EVERYBODY thinks like that - apart from a few "visionaries" that is, of course, who will become the leaders.
Aha!
A general MUST be able to see the bigger picture; a king must; an industry leader; ANY leader MUST have the magical ability to zoom out and perceive huge arrays of objects IN PERSPECTIVE in order to discover the meta patterns that make up the WHOLE situation.
In the education systems the world over, children are not raised and trained to become LEADERS. That explains why the "downchunk movement" into detail is being taught and fostered at every turn; people who are only comfortable with "small chunk thinking" and will turn immediately to chunking down EVEN FURTHER in moments of crisis, because that movement is THE ONLY movement they know and are familiar with, make great soldiers, factory workers, low level clerics - great ants, in other words.
But the fact is that to "think in the opposite direction", to zoom out to see the bigger picture, is a simple as a child's game - we just need to reverse it.
Instead of playing endless versions of, "What's the difference?" we start asking instead, "What's the SAME?"
It is then the meta patterns become revealed and the MOVEMENT OUT towards the "bigger picture" begins to occur naturally.
This is such a simple, and yet such an INCREDIBLE thing.
Consider this.
We may ask, "What's THE SAME about a black boy, and a white boy?" and the answer is ready and clear - "They're both boys!"
We may ask, "What's the SAME about a little boy and a little girl?" and we may receive the answer, "They're both human beings."
EVERY person needs to be able to ZOOM BOTH WAYS - into the details, and out to biggest possible picture, and back again.
EVERY person CAN do that - it is just a question of encouraging the neglected and secret "bigger picture" movement from an early age, and THAT in itself is as simple as to say to a child, "What's THE SAME about your teddy and your doll?"
For any adult who seeks to really re-connect to their own creativity and POWER TO DETECT THE META PATTERNS of our lives and our environments, it is the same game.
"What's THE SAME about the last five movies you've watched? What's THE SAME about the last 15 successful advertising campaigns the competitors ran? What's THE SAME about me and other people?"
There is a structural re-connection that is astonishing which occurs so naturally as a by product of asking that simple question, which is indeed profound, and profoundly healing.
I do believe that the answers lie in the meta patterns, and in our ability to PERCEIVE THEM CLEARLY.
If we get, as individuals AND as societies, those meta patterns right, then the details will NATURALLY take care of themselves - that's the way it works.
"They" say that the devil lies in the detail - it could well be so that salvation can be found indeed, in all of us starting to pay much more attention to "the bigger picture".
A Visit To The North Pole
A Visit To The North Pole
It’s the annual outing every Christmas-celebrating parent makes. The trip to see Santa Claus. I so wanted that perfect picture of my son with the famous bearded elf.
The adventure began with a 45 minute wait in line behind all the other eager parents and children. As the parent of a toddler, I have come to realize that all of these “special” events are ten times more exciting for me than for him. I stood there in blissful anticipation as we crept ever closer to the man in red. My son, on the other hand, was busy devising a way to tear down the candy cane border that held us in line. Santa? Who’s Santa? And of course my husband didn’t share my enthusiasm either. With a shocking statement of, “You know what they need to do here is have two Santas to speed up the process…” I was convinced the Christmas hopes and dreams of all children within earshot of us would surely be ruined. Yet I didn’t let their lack of interest get me down. I was determined to get that glorious picture of my son with Santa to show off to all my friends and family.
And then the moment presented itself. “Would you like a picture with Santa?” the elf assistant asked. I think I blurted out the word “Yes” faster than on my wedding day. We stepped into the North Pole and made our way to St. Nick. I secretly kept my fingers crossed as my husband placed our darling son on Santa’s lap. We backed up slowly as if we were preparing for a small bomb to go off. And ironically, one did. My little boy’s lips began to quiver and before we could say, “It’s Ok, Santa’s your friend!” the siren already sounded. A scream so shrill it made the hair on my neck stand up. So, that was the end of that. We grabbed our son, hung our heads in embarrassment, and quickly removed ourselves from the North Pole.
Am I really embarrassed? Yes and no. I’m not embarrassed at my son’s behavior. I mean, come on – everything we teach our kids revolves around being weary of people they don’t know. So why should I be surprised that he gets upset when I put him in the lap of an overweight, bearded stranger covered in red velvet, while surrounded by singing plastic animals? I’m proud of him for not talking to strangers! I am, however, embarrassed at my own behavior. I admit I get caught up in doing what’s “cute” and not what my son wants to do. He’s still so young that he can’t tell me what he wants, so I guess I make those choices for him. I know that will change very shortly – and I’m sure I will seriously question the choices he does make. But until then, we’ll see how he handles Santa next year!
It’s the annual outing every Christmas-celebrating parent makes. The trip to see Santa Claus. I so wanted that perfect picture of my son with the famous bearded elf.
The adventure began with a 45 minute wait in line behind all the other eager parents and children. As the parent of a toddler, I have come to realize that all of these “special” events are ten times more exciting for me than for him. I stood there in blissful anticipation as we crept ever closer to the man in red. My son, on the other hand, was busy devising a way to tear down the candy cane border that held us in line. Santa? Who’s Santa? And of course my husband didn’t share my enthusiasm either. With a shocking statement of, “You know what they need to do here is have two Santas to speed up the process…” I was convinced the Christmas hopes and dreams of all children within earshot of us would surely be ruined. Yet I didn’t let their lack of interest get me down. I was determined to get that glorious picture of my son with Santa to show off to all my friends and family.
And then the moment presented itself. “Would you like a picture with Santa?” the elf assistant asked. I think I blurted out the word “Yes” faster than on my wedding day. We stepped into the North Pole and made our way to St. Nick. I secretly kept my fingers crossed as my husband placed our darling son on Santa’s lap. We backed up slowly as if we were preparing for a small bomb to go off. And ironically, one did. My little boy’s lips began to quiver and before we could say, “It’s Ok, Santa’s your friend!” the siren already sounded. A scream so shrill it made the hair on my neck stand up. So, that was the end of that. We grabbed our son, hung our heads in embarrassment, and quickly removed ourselves from the North Pole.
Am I really embarrassed? Yes and no. I’m not embarrassed at my son’s behavior. I mean, come on – everything we teach our kids revolves around being weary of people they don’t know. So why should I be surprised that he gets upset when I put him in the lap of an overweight, bearded stranger covered in red velvet, while surrounded by singing plastic animals? I’m proud of him for not talking to strangers! I am, however, embarrassed at my own behavior. I admit I get caught up in doing what’s “cute” and not what my son wants to do. He’s still so young that he can’t tell me what he wants, so I guess I make those choices for him. I know that will change very shortly – and I’m sure I will seriously question the choices he does make. But until then, we’ll see how he handles Santa next year!
A Clean Car Is Cool
A Clean Car Is Cool
Cleaning a car: a piece of cake, right? Without doubt, if you follow the procedures suggested by the Car Care Council. While it's the most basic procedure in Lambo Cars care, it does be worthy of some thought. The primary step in cleaning the car is to wash it. Give it a good rinsing from top to bottom, including the wheels and inside the fenders. And have a habit that always cleans the tires and wheels before washing the body, and don't use the same cloth for both. This way you'll avoid contaminating the vehicle's paint with debris from the wheels and tires.
Then always use a good tire cleaner with a stiff brush, to improve your tires' appearance even if you don't have white sidewalls or white letter tires.
Next thing is to wash the wheels with a wheel cleaner that removes the brake dust, which often blackens the front wheels. Application of these cleaners varies, so be sure and follow the directions on the container.
Now it's time to wash the body. Use a product sold specifically for automobiles. (Household cleaners can strip the wax from the paint and damage the finish.) Starting at the top, wash one section at a time, thoroughly rinsing away the soap. Work your way down toward the front, sides, and rear of the vehicle. Clean the rear last since it usually has the largest accumulation of dirt and grime, which can contaminate the wash mitt. Wash the inside door jams about once a month.
To rinse, remove the spray nozzle from the hose. Starting at the top let the water cascade down the surfaces of the vehicle.
Then, to avoid water spotting, dry with a chamois or other product made for this purpose.
Now is an excellent time for waxing, which not only protects the finish but also makes subsequent washing easier. Before proceeding, look for foreign particles on the paint. Use a Lambo Kits(car) cleaner, available at auto supply stores, to remove contaminants imbedded in the paint.
Once the surface is clean, apply the wax, following the manufacturer's instructions for application of the product. Often they recommend not using the product in direct sunlight.
Keeping your vehicle clean, while it doesn't require a lot of effort, says the Council, it does foster a feeling of pride and accomplishment.
Cleaning a car: a piece of cake, right? Without doubt, if you follow the procedures suggested by the Car Care Council. While it's the most basic procedure in Lambo Cars care, it does be worthy of some thought. The primary step in cleaning the car is to wash it. Give it a good rinsing from top to bottom, including the wheels and inside the fenders. And have a habit that always cleans the tires and wheels before washing the body, and don't use the same cloth for both. This way you'll avoid contaminating the vehicle's paint with debris from the wheels and tires.
Then always use a good tire cleaner with a stiff brush, to improve your tires' appearance even if you don't have white sidewalls or white letter tires.
Next thing is to wash the wheels with a wheel cleaner that removes the brake dust, which often blackens the front wheels. Application of these cleaners varies, so be sure and follow the directions on the container.
Now it's time to wash the body. Use a product sold specifically for automobiles. (Household cleaners can strip the wax from the paint and damage the finish.) Starting at the top, wash one section at a time, thoroughly rinsing away the soap. Work your way down toward the front, sides, and rear of the vehicle. Clean the rear last since it usually has the largest accumulation of dirt and grime, which can contaminate the wash mitt. Wash the inside door jams about once a month.
To rinse, remove the spray nozzle from the hose. Starting at the top let the water cascade down the surfaces of the vehicle.
Then, to avoid water spotting, dry with a chamois or other product made for this purpose.
Now is an excellent time for waxing, which not only protects the finish but also makes subsequent washing easier. Before proceeding, look for foreign particles on the paint. Use a Lambo Kits(car) cleaner, available at auto supply stores, to remove contaminants imbedded in the paint.
Once the surface is clean, apply the wax, following the manufacturer's instructions for application of the product. Often they recommend not using the product in direct sunlight.
Keeping your vehicle clean, while it doesn't require a lot of effort, says the Council, it does foster a feeling of pride and accomplishment.
Residential Home
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could obtain free tax advice on all your property transactions? levy on property deals can be extremely intricate matters, and there are big firms out there who specialise in providing this very service, at a price. But did you know you could avoid all these charges by manufacture one simple receiver call. And here’s how:
Pick up the handset and dial the Inland Revenue (in the United Kingdom) In the United States I put forward you try the inner Revenue.
But in Britain if you ring the Inland proceeds and ask to speak to someone about property tax matter they will put you through to a highly qualified human being who will answer all the question you may have. You do not have to name yourself if you prefer not to, and if you speak to the Customs and Excise Office and ask to speak to an advisor on the topic of Vat on property matters, they will not pose you for you Vat integer either, so you can ask your questions in the Wouldn’t it be nice if you could obtain free tax advice on all your property auctions transactions? Taxation on property deals can be extremely complicated matters, and there are big firms out there who specialise in providing this very service, at a price. But did you know you could avoid all these charges by making one simple telephone call. And here’s how:
Pick up the telephone and dial the Inland Revenue (in the United Kingdom) In the United States I suggest you try the Internal Revenue.
But in Britain if you ring the Inland Revenue and ask to speak to someone about uk property auction tax matters they will put you through to a highly qualified person who will answer all the questions you may have. You do not have to identify yourself if you prefer not to, and if you speak to the Customs and Excise Office and ask to speak to an advisor regarding Vat on property matters, they will not ask you for you Vat number either, so you can ask your questions in the confidence of knowing that it will not affect your tax position, or liability, in any way.
Assurance of knowing that it will not concern your tax arrangement, or liability, in any way.
Pick up the handset and dial the Inland Revenue (in the United Kingdom) In the United States I put forward you try the inner Revenue.
But in Britain if you ring the Inland proceeds and ask to speak to someone about property tax matter they will put you through to a highly qualified human being who will answer all the question you may have. You do not have to name yourself if you prefer not to, and if you speak to the Customs and Excise Office and ask to speak to an advisor on the topic of Vat on property matters, they will not pose you for you Vat integer either, so you can ask your questions in the Wouldn’t it be nice if you could obtain free tax advice on all your property auctions transactions? Taxation on property deals can be extremely complicated matters, and there are big firms out there who specialise in providing this very service, at a price. But did you know you could avoid all these charges by making one simple telephone call. And here’s how:
Pick up the telephone and dial the Inland Revenue (in the United Kingdom) In the United States I suggest you try the Internal Revenue.
But in Britain if you ring the Inland Revenue and ask to speak to someone about uk property auction tax matters they will put you through to a highly qualified person who will answer all the questions you may have. You do not have to identify yourself if you prefer not to, and if you speak to the Customs and Excise Office and ask to speak to an advisor regarding Vat on property matters, they will not ask you for you Vat number either, so you can ask your questions in the confidence of knowing that it will not affect your tax position, or liability, in any way.
Assurance of knowing that it will not concern your tax arrangement, or liability, in any way.
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